Can Bergamot Help Your Cholesterol?

Summary: BIOHACKERS ARE CHUGGING BERGAMOT TO DODGE HEART ATTACKS... BUT IS IT JUST SOUR JUICE?

Panel 1: A ripped, overly-tanned wellness influencer/podcaster is aggressively squeezing a bumpy green bergamot orange into a fancy crystal glass. He’s wearing a continuous glucose monitor, an ice-bath towel, and a microphone headset, determined to "optimize" his blood flow.

Panel 2: Zoom in on his bloodstream. Menacing "LDL Plaque Monsters" are building a dangerous wall inside his arteries, threatening a heart attack. A tiny, weak drop of bergamot juice wearing a superhero cape tries to fight them, but gets easily swatted away. Text overlay: "Zero large trials prove this works."

Panel 3: The influencer looks confused at a giant, glowing supplement bottle labeled "FDA UNREGULATED: DOSAGE UNKNOWN." A real cardiologist (Dr. Sarraju) stands next to him, shaking his head and pointing toward a treadmill, a bowl of high-fiber oatmeal, and a bottle of proven statins.

Panel 4: The influencer is outside trying to biohack with "sun therapy," but instantly gets a massive sunburn (a real bergamot side effect) and clutches his chest from heartburn, dropping his perfectly symmetrical, $20 avocado toast face-down in the dirt.

Kicker: You can’t out-podcast a heart attack with a fancy orange. 🍊💔 Stick to the science. #CholesterolMyths #BiohackingFail #HeartHealth

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