How to Stop Fighting Your Thoughts and Emotions

Summary: Pain is a normal part of life, but we make it much worse when we fight our negative feelings. Psychologists use a simple formula: suffering equals pain multiplied by resistance. When we get mad at ourselves for feeling sad or anxious, we just add to our own pain.

Instead of fighting your emotions, experts suggest practicing "acceptance." This doesn't mean giving up or staying in a bad situation. It just means letting yourself feel the emotion without trying to force it away. Think of your dog: if she gets scared, she might hide under the bed for a minute, but then she moves on with her day. She doesn't judge herself for being scared!

When you try to push down bad feelings, they usually bounce back even harder. Worse, if you numb your sadness, you also numb your joy. By acting like a curious observer of your own mind, you can watch your thoughts pass by like clouds. You are not your thoughts; you are just the person observing them.

Source: Psychology Today URL: psychologytoday.com/us/blog/between-cultures/202604/how-to-stop-fighting-your-thoughts-and-emotions (opens in new tab)