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In first meeting, federal autism committee focuses on ‘profound autism’
Summary: NEW AUTISM BOARD: "LOOK AT ME, I'M THE EXPERT NOW"
Panel 1: A boardroom scene where scientists in white lab coats are being dramatically shoved out of their chairs by activists carrying thick clipboards. A cutout of a politician resembling RFK Jr. stands in the background, directing traffic like a traffic cop.
Panel 2: A close-up of a giant medical clipboard. A red marker is aggressively crossing out the words "IQ Under 50" and writing "Daily Functional Support Needs" in huge, bold letters under the heading "Profound Autism."
Panel 3: Federal bureaucrats in suits are sweating profusely, nervously tapping their watches and holding up calendars. Next to them, a new civilian committee member is gleefully smashing a giant red button that says "VOTE."
Panel 4: A meme-style standoff. A civilian parent stands on top of the boardroom table holding a massive wooden gavel, pointing down at a bewildered, exhausted scientist.
Kicker: When the group project gets hijacked, but it's federal health policy.